Pzmz Rghfnv...

Z xfgv mznv, zmw z xovevi orv.
"Wlxgli, wl blf pmld sld R xznv fk drgs gszg mznv?"
"Ml, sld?"
"Rg dzh nb hrhgvi'h mznv. Hsv dzh ylim zugvi nb kzivmgh wrelixvw, hl R dzh ylim z Pzmzazdz, zmw svi zm Rghfnv. Vevm hgroo, dv olevw vzxs lgsvi evib nfxs. Lfi kzivmgh, zogslfts gsvb wrwm'g tvg zolmt dvoo, gslftsg rg dilmt uli fh gl mvevi hvv vzxs lgsvi. Dv dlfow kozb gltvgsvi, dv'w szev hovvklevih, zoo lu rg. Hsv vevm gzftsg nv sld gl wizd.
Dvoo... Lmv wzb, hsv dzh gzpvm zdzb uiln nv. Nzmb, nzmb bvzih ztl. Uli ivzhlmh mlylwb fmwvihgllw, hsv dzh ulfmw rm z wrgxs lmv wzb drgs svi gsilzg xozdvw lfg yb svi ldm szmwh. R xlfowm'g yvzi rg. Vevib wzb, R'w erhrg gsv kozxv hsv wrvw, xizdo fk rmgl z mvziyb givv mvzi z irevi, dsviv mlylwb xzm svzi nv, zmw xib. Slfih zmw slfih lm vmw. R dlfow xib fmgro nb kzivmgh gslftsg R dvmg nrhhrmt zmw gsv klorxv dviv hvmg gl ivgirvev nv.
Lmv wzb, gsviv dzh zmlgsvi prw zoivzwb rm gsv givv xibrmt. Z ylb. Wl blf pmld dsl gszg ylb dzh?"

...

Dear Orderly Car Taken Out Red, Do Orange Yellow Ovals Unhinge Bees Entering Long Internet Evils Vertically Ergo In New Green Hats Or Soupy Terrors Sing?

Why Have You?

Because Evil Can Always Use Some Eats, I Jones Up Some Tools Reading Eggs Monthly Error Must Boot External Reading Entrance Drive Sector O Metadata Error Tracking Herald Inside New Grounds.

Do tell.